Why can I connect to test but not to friends

Sigh.
My on going issues with iChat continues. Basically we have all but given up and for many weeks have just not bothered using our 'it just works' video chat.
One question that keeps popping up is why can I connect to the apple test, why can my friends connect to the apple test, but why can we not connect to each other?
More over we could all connect to each other prior to 10.4, no hardware or ISP has changed.
I do appreciate the amount of help coming out of these boards, especially from Ralph, but the question has to be asked yet again, what are apple doing about this issue, everything was just fine with iChat in 10.3, I know I am not alone.
Anyway if anyone can offer advice on why a ZOOM X4 router/modem or a Draytek Vigor 2600 does not work correctly or anyone is able to use these modems I would appreciate a reply. I would also like info on setting them up, even though they were just fine before.

Ahh Draytek.....
Possibly SIP aware and causing these problems.
Symptoms:
A small group of Buddies that you can connect to all the time.
Another small group of Buddies you can connect to now and then.
Depending on the size of your Buddy list, a larger group of non successful contacts.
Solution
Unbind SIP from port 5060 in the modem.
http://www.ralphjohnsuk.dsl.pipex.com/page4.html#_text
Instructions and the pic of a Terminal window with the instructions and result s as they occur in full.
Edit
For the Zoom I looked at this page I can not see that this has the UPnP setting which would be easiest to set up.
The page tells you and shows you what the set up pages look like to achieve Port Forwarding.
Have you done this ?
Second Edit.
http://portforward.com/english/routers/port_forwarding/Draytek/Vigor2600WE/iChat .htm
Not sure if this is exactly the same model.
Rule 4 should be UDP in the pics lower down.
Ralph

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