Why is it so hard to get Verizon to offer an alternative phone?

Hello,
I've been lurking this board for a long time, and my Fascinate has had nothing but problems.
1. The phone randomly decides to hit the back button on it's own multiple times, resulting in screencaptures.  This has not been fixed for me no matter what apps I use or how many times I reset my phone.  Have you ever been in a college library and tried to put your phone in standby only to hear the camera shutter noise? Everyone thinks you're creepy and that you're taking pictures of strangers. It's an embarassment.
2. Sometimes when I hit the phone icon it takes me to a black screen. Let me tell you: My cellPHONE will not let me make PHONE calls. This makes the device completely useless. 
3. Sometimes I send texts to about 15 different people to confirm plans for the night, get no response at all. No texts from anybody. I wake up the next morning thinking I did something wrong and ruined relationships until I do a battery pull. Then when it starts back up it SENDS THEM THEN. Then I get a ton of confused friends wondering where I was and why they never heard back from me. 
4. I have 4 different friends with the SAME EXACT ISSUES on this SAME EXACT MODEL of phone.
I am fully updated and I have never rooted this phone.
Why is it so hard for verizon to just send me a refurbished Droid X2 or Incredible 2? It can't cost that much more! 
Please, if any verizon employee sees this I would love if you could help me out. The people I've spoken to on the phone only offered to send me another Fascinate. It's NOT what I need. I have been a Verizon customer for a long time and I'm thoroughly disappointed that you can't help me out by kicking me a refurb of a different model. 

Hello ILikeColdPizza!
Sounds like you've gone through a great deal of trouble with your device.  I would like to see if we can get your phone working the way it should.
The manufacturers warranty is a no cost option that replaces the device with the same make and model, considering the device is experiencing an electrical/mechanical defect.  This is what the manufacturers cover under the standard one year warranty.  When your device does not function as intended and is defective, we intern lift this up to the manufacturer to recoup our losses.  This is the reason for the same model exchange policy.  In the meantime, I would like to further troubleshoot your device to ensure we've resolved all the issues you're experiencing.
Have you confirmed your Fascinate is running the most recent software version?  The current version would be i500.EH03, which is Gingerbread.  If not, please update software.  A lot of the issues you are experiencing were resolved in the latest update.  If you are still experiencing issues with your device after updating the software, please let me know so I can go over other options.

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    2. All versions of OS X since 10.6.7 have been able to detect known Mac malware in downloaded files, and to block insecure web plugins. This feature is transparent to the user. Internally Apple calls it "XProtect."
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    ☞ A malware attacker could get control of a code-signing certificate under false pretenses, or could simply ignore the consequences of distributing codesigned malware.
    ☞ An App Store developer could find a way to bypass Apple's oversight, or the oversight could fail due to human error.
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    4. Starting with OS X 10.8.3, a third layer of protection has been added: a "Malware Removal Tool" (MRT). MRT runs automatically in the background when you update the OS. It checks for, and removes, malware that may have evaded the other protections via a Java exploit (see below.) MRT also runs when you install or update the Apple-supplied Java runtime (but not the Oracle runtime.) Like XProtect, MRT is effective against known threats, but not against unknown ones. It notifies you if it finds malware, but otherwise there's no user interface to MRT.
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    The best defense is always going to be your own intelligence. With the possible exception of Java exploits, all known malware circulating on the Internet that affects a fully-updated installation of OS X 10.6 or later takes the form of so-called "Trojan horses," which can only have an effect if the victim is duped into running them. The threat therefore amounts to a battle of wits between you and Internet criminals. If you're better informed than they think you are, you'll win. That means, in practice, that you always stay within a safe harbor of computing practices. How do you know when you're leaving the safe harbor? Below are some warning signs of danger.
    Software from an untrustworthy source
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    ☞ Software of any kind is distributed via BitTorrent, or Usenet, or on a website that also distributes pirated music or movies.
    ☞ Rogue websites such as Softonic, Soft32, and CNET Download distribute free applications that have been packaged in a superfluous "installer."
    ☞ The software is advertised by means of spam or intrusive web ads. Any ad, on any site, that includes a direct link to a download should be ignored.
    Software that is plainly illegal or does something illegal
    ☞ High-priced commercial software such as Photoshop is "cracked" or "free."
    ☞ An application helps you to infringe copyright, for instance by circumventing the copy protection on commercial software, or saving streamed media for reuse without permission. All "YouTube downloaders" are in this category, though not all are necessarily malicious.
    Conditional or unsolicited offers from strangers
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    ☞ A web site offers free content such as video or music, but to use it you must install a “codec,” “plug-in,” "player," "downloader," "extractor," or “certificate” that comes from that same site, or an unknown one.
    ☞ You win a prize in a contest you never entered.
    ☞ Someone on a message board such as this one is eager to help you, but only if you download an application of his choosing.
    ☞ A "FREE WI-FI !!!" network advertises itself in a public place such as an airport, but is not provided by the management.
    ☞ Anything online that you would expect to pay for is "free."
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    ☞ You open what you think is a document and get an alert that it's "an application downloaded from the Internet." Click Cancel and delete the file. Even if you don't get the alert, you should still delete any file that isn't what you expected it to be.
    ☞ An application does something you don't expect, such as asking for permission to access your contacts, your location, or the Internet for no obvious reason.
    ☞ Software is attached to email that you didn't request, even if it comes (or seems to come) from someone you trust.
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    ☞ To recognize malware, the software depends on a database of known threats, which is always at least a day out of date. This technique is a proven failure, as a major AV software vendor has admitted. Most attacks are "zero-day"—that is, previously unknown. Recognition-based AV does not defend against such attacks, and the enterprise IT industry is coming to the realization that traditional AV software is worthless.
    ☞ Its design is predicated on the nonexistent threat that malware may be injected at any time, anywhere in the file system. Malware is downloaded from the network; it doesn't materialize from nowhere. In order to meet that nonexistent threat, commercial AV software modifies or duplicates low-level functions of the operating system, which is a waste of resources and a common cause of instability, bugs, and poor performance.
    ☞ By modifying the operating system, the software may also create weaknesses that could be exploited by malware attackers.
    ☞ Most importantly, a false sense of security is dangerous.
    8. An AV product from the App Store, such as "ClamXav," has the same drawback as the commercial suites of being always out of date, but it does not inject low-level code into the operating system. That doesn't mean it's entirely harmless. It may report email messages that have "phishing" links in the body, or Windows malware in attachments, as infected files, and offer to delete or move them. Doing so will corrupt the Mail database. The messages should be deleted from within the Mail application.
    An AV app is not needed, and cannot be relied upon, for protection against OS X malware. It's useful, if at all, only for detecting Windows malware, and even for that use it's not really effective, because new Windows malware is emerging much faster than OS X malware.
    Windows malware can't harm you directly (unless, of course, you use Windows.) Just don't pass it on to anyone else. A malicious attachment in email is usually easy to recognize by the name alone. An actual example:
    London Terror Moovie.avi [124 spaces] Checked By Norton Antivirus.exe
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