A Mess Needs Fixing

Question

Hi community...
Please let me know where this goes, if not here.  I have a situation and I'm looking for smarter users than me to advise me on the best way to tackle it.
I married a beautiful luddite years ago and after multiple machines and sharing, I have created a mess.  Once I had an iMac (2005). This was "my" computer and she didn't do much on it.  After a little while, we started sharing.  We each had a separate user account.  That seemed to work OK until we started sharing media, around 2007-2008, and then I lost track of accounts, Apple IDs, what's been purchased where. Currently she uses my MBP (2009) which has our iTunes library on it, MOST of which, but not all, is under my Apple ID.  She may have several user accounts because she forgets frequently and signs up again.
I'm not being critical of her. This is as much my fault as hers for not helping her, but we're a pretty busy couple, and I've just not focused on this very much. But I've been moving a lot of material to the cloud and now we're looking at iPads and etc.  I have a single resolution in 2013 and that's to get my House in Order... and this is first on the list, but it's making me crazy trying to suss things out.
So here's the current situation and what I'm hoping for:
What it is:
MBP (2009): Hers, inherited. She has a login ID for the computer, but I THINK she is using my Apple ID for iTunes for the library and possibly iPhoto (cloud/photo stream). I know when she takes pictures on her iPhone they show up on mine in Photo Stream.
iPhone 3G: Hers. She got this as a hand-me-down from her Mom and switched sim cards. She has her own Apple ID to sync or purchase things on her phone, but the iTunes library, being so fractured, means there may be limited song selection on her phone. Also, when she syncs it, it's syncing to the iTunes library under my account... I'm not actually sure what this means.
iPhone 3GS: His. This works OK, except for the usual un-populated playlist issue; I've been assuming this is the same thing I've read about from others in this forum with no fix but I do wonder if the multiple accounts and mix-ups are causing problems somewhere.
MacBook Air (2012): His. Love this machine, which is neither here nor there. This is entirely "mine" in that she doesn't get on it or use it; so there's little dilemma in accounts or syncing, although I do sometimes get confused about where Apps, Music, and TV shows "are."  I do have an iTunes Match account that's synced (to my understanding) to what I think of as the Master Library, which is my iTunes account library where all the songs are physically stored on the MBP.
What I'd like it to be:
I would like one machine to be a Master unit, or home unit, from which the libraries are streamed to iPads, Apple TVs, etc. We may end up with a new iMac in the next several months, or it may just be we stick with the MBP for a while.  I expect at some point in the future there may be two iPhones and possibly two iPads.  Definitely two iPhones and a single iPad... It would be great, but maybe not practical, if they were all syncing to one master media library that would be housed on the main, family computer.
We have entirely different desktop pratices, but I wonder if that matters... I expect she can still have her own login on the machine (so her desktop and file management can be as cluttered as she likes) but when she opens iTunes, it will still be the single library of my dreams.
BUT, I would like us to be able to share Notes, iCal, and Reminders that push/pull to our different devices, or to an Apple TV if we get one.  So, say, if she enters on an iPhone/Pad "you need to remember to get yourself breath mints for tomorrow night," it shows up on my device.  This is something that would really help us, and I wondered about setting up a single, "family" (or couple, I suppose some day our kids will grow older if we don't get in the way) iCloud account so that we shared those things. Yet, I can see her wanting her own private email, in case she's actually a super spy and doesn't want me to know.
What do you think?  I would appreciate solutions if you have them.  I did look through the forums this afternoon and didn't come up with much that was helpful. I have also considered the possibility of having the MBP be an "unconnected device," one she uses just on her own that doesn't connect or share information to iCloud or the other devices, and then uses an iPad that would share an iCloud account with my devices and she could pick that up, update or check my calendar, and then it would populate on my other machines, yes? And are there other considerations/fixes I haven't thought of yet? 
Please advise.  Less snark is always appreciated but I can stomach it if I'm being totally dumb and the answer is right in front of me.

Answer 1

By saying the forum is crying out for the developers to be more active, what are you saying, that the developers need to get busy and  fix things or that the developers need to make public statements about what they are fixing? 
LR is on a relatively fixed release schedule and one would assume that the developers have fixed or are in the process of fixing whatever their internal testing has been able to replicate. 
If past history is a guide, LR 5.0 came out mid-June so LR5.1 would be coming out some time in Sept with a release-candidate due out in August.
Because Adobe is a publically-traded company, employees, including developers, are not generally at liberty to discuss the progress of bugs that they think have been found and fixed because it may turn out that they have not been fixed once they go through the internal testing which is a different set of people than the developers.
Adobe employees are also not psychiatrists or even friends, to make you feel better about whatever problems you are having with LR.  Posting on the forum is fine, and some people make have solutions or workarounds and some people will be on your side and some won’t and you may change how you feel based on what you read on the forum but Adobe employees are in no way responsible for your happiness.