I'm a Neanderthal when it comes to this.... I have an ipad2 and I can't get Facebook bc it says my iOS isnt up to date/I need a newer one.  Problem is in general settings there's no update software button

theres no update in settings.... I go to iTunes n it doesn't have updates either.....how the **** do I update my software n my iOS to current standards. 

If your iDevice is using a version of iOS lower than 5, you will need to use iTunes on your syncing computer to perform the upgrade. Use the Apple link below as a guide for the upgrade.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4972
Also read the instructions from the section entitled "Update your device using iTunes" at the link below.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4623
Information regarding transferring purchases from your iDevice to iTunes on your syncing computer can be found at the link below.
http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1848

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