Lost all contacts when synching iPhone4 iPad3 & PC

Help please.
I have a year old iPhone4 with contacts that I have never backed up or synched. I know this was risky. My husband just bought me an iPad3 and he attempted to synch my PC, Outlook Express, the iPad3 and the iPhone4. We were trying once and for all to back it all up so the files would be safe and so both the iPad3 and iPhone4 would have the current contacts. I wound up with stupid Outlook contacts (like empty files and spammers) on my iPhone4 and iPad3 but the original contacts on the iPhone4 were gone. I spent hours re-creating the majority of the data on the iPad3 the other night.
Then today he tried to move the iPad3 contacts to the PC by synching. Instead somehow all the good contacts disappeared from the iPad3 and the iPhone4. All I am left with again is stupid incomplete and spam files from my Outlook loaded into the apple devices again -- which I don't want anyway!!
My husband has been synching his iPad2 with his PC and Blackberry, integrating Outlook Express with contacts and calendars with no problem for months now. He is completely befuddled about what he has done with my data twice now. He doesn't know why when he tries to synch my devices in the same manner as he synches his, it messes everything up.
He was using iTunes and thought he was using iCloud yet thinks he also synched to Outlook Express.
Where have the good files gone?
I have spent an hour reading forums here and also on the web and can't find anything to help me with this. I can't even find where the contact files could be on my PC itself.
HELP please! I'm desperate!

We found the missing contacts in OUTLOOK EXPRESS trash can. I am in the process of manually re-entering every single one.
I will have to figure out the proper procedure for backing up the iPhone4 and using iCloud so this doesn't happen again. For now I have my hands full doing all manual re-entry. This stinks but it's better than losing it all permanently.
(The files were not in Windows anywhere or on the PC they are in Outlook Express.)

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