Months later and I still cannot update to IOS 5.1!!!

Question

You name it, Ive tried it.  Done all the different trouble shooting bits and bobs, ie uninstalled security, itunes reinstalled ,disabled apple mobile, used a different pc, etc yet still i cannot update my ipad?
I even ventured to my local Apple store and the assistant had the same problem and couldn't help me either!
Is it only my Ipad having this problem?  Why can't the Apple people see this device either??
Apart from throwing the thing in the bin does anyone else have any suggestions of what I can do that might work please?
Hoping someone will suggest something that I haven't already tried and will work.
Thanks in hopeful anticipation but i'm not holding my breath........!
Thank you..
Below I have pasted the last thing I tried that still didnt work...
From the Start menu, click All Programs and click Accessories.
Click Run. A Run window (command prompt) appears.
Type msconfig in the Open field and click OK.
If Windows needs your permission to continue, click Continue. The System Configuration Utility opens.
Click the General tab.
   Select the "Selective Startup" option.
Deselect the "Load Startup Items" checkbox.
Note: This step requires disabling third-party System Services and Startup Items, which can prevent some software or OEM hardware on your computer from working correctly. For example, this can affect the CD/DVD control buttons on portable computers or prevent wireless keyboards and mice from functioning. This is only required during troubleshooting to help isolate third-party conflicts with Apple software.
Click the Startup tab.
Select the "iTunes" and "QuickTime" checkboxes in the list.
Click the Services tab.
Make sure that "Hide All Microsoft Services" is selected.
Click Disable All.
Note: If you are troubleshooting an issue related to iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch, select the Apple Mobile Device checkbox.
Click OK.
Click Restart. After restarting (and logging in to Windows), a message may appear stating that Windows has blocked startup programs and indicates the Blocked startup programs icon in the notification area (far right) of the taskbar. Click the message.
Click the Blocked startup programs icon, select Run blocked program and select System Configuration Utility.
If Windows needs your permission to continue, click Continue. A window appears confirming that "You have used the System Configuration Utility to make changes to the way Windows starts." Click OK. The System Configuration Utility appears. Do not click OK here as this will prompt you to restart again. First try to reproduce the issue you were having.
If following these steps resolves the issue, you may want to use the System Configuration Utility to turn on the third-party System Services and Startup Items one or a few at a time (restarting your computer after turning on the item or items) to identify which System Service or Startup Item is causing the conflict. You can turn all of them back on by selecting the Normal Startup option under the General tab of the System Configuration Utility window, but please note that this may cause the issue to recur.
Additional Information
If the issue is still occurring with Selective Startup mode, third-party security software may still be operating regardless of the state of Msconfig. Follow iTunes for Windows: Troubleshooting security software issues.
Important: Information about products not manufactured by Apple is provided for information purposes only and does not constitute Apple’s recommendation or endorsement. Please contact the vendor for additional information.
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Answer 1

If you have an iPad 1, the max iOS is 5.1.1. For newer iPads, the current iOS is 6.0.1. For the iPad Mini the iOS is 6.0.2. The Settings>General>Software Update only appears if you have iOS 5.0 or higher currently installed.
iOS 5: Updating your device to iOS 5 or Later
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4972
How to install iOS 6
http://www.macworld.com/article/2010061/hands-on-with-ios-6-installation.html
iOS: How to update your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4623
If you are currently running an iOS lower than 5.0, connect the iPad to the computer, open iTunes. Then select the iPad under the Devices heading on the left, click on the Summary tab and then click on Check for Update.
Tip - If connected to your computer, you may need to disable your firewall and anitvirus software temporarily.  Then download and install the iOS update. Be sure and backup your iPad before the iOS update. After you update an iPad (except iPad 1) to iOS 6.x, the next update can be installed via wifi (i.e., not connected to your computer).
 Cheers, Tom