What gets erased? -sync

I bought a new/used iPhone 4 and want to copy my music to it, but it's not letting me.
History: I backed up my old iPhone 3, using iTunes. I then connected my iPhone 4, and restored.
That worked. I then got my current phone book, apps, text messages, and photos on my new iPhone 4.
In iTunes, my new phone shows up.
However, when I try to manually copy music to my iPhone, nothing happens. The iPhone doesn't "highlight," it doesn't copy.
I went to Options and clicked on Manually Manage music and videos. I think that's what I want. When I do this, I get a message, "The iPhone is synched with another iTunes library on "Powerbook." Do you want to erase this iPhone and synch with this iTunes library?
I don't quite understand this message. Can someone help me understand what it means?
What does it want to erase?
This is a new (to me) iPhone. It was previously erased and restored.
So this iPhone has not been synced with anything else. There is no music on it.
I think I used exactly the same name on this new iPhone 4, as I used on my old iPhone 3. I wonder if that could be confusing it.
When I says it will erase this iPhone, I'm not sure if it's referring to ONLY the music (there isn't any) or if it's also going to erase my photos, text messages, etc.
Thank you

So far, I haven't done either. It's not letting me sync or manually manage. It would be the first time, when I do it.
Maybe the problem is "Do you want to Erase this iPhone?" sounds like it is going to erase the whole iPhone.
Maybe it should say, "Do you want to erase the music (only) on this iPhone, even if you don't actually have any music on it?'

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