ICal & exchange problems (invitations, notifications)

Hi!
I'm using the latest OSX version 10.8.2 and the calendar (&mail) acount is on an external hosted Exchange Server.
When creating an appointment I can add participants and send them invitations.
But when they are accepting (or declining) it is not shown in iCal, which is very embarrasing.
You never know if the meeting takes place in the planned way.
And yes, I already checked (and unchecked many times) the box "Get CalDAV invitations automatically from mail".
I saw in older threads that this seems to be an on/off problem.
Perhaps someone can help me out here, before I switch to MS Outlook.
Thanks a lot!

Fixed!  The problem's appeared before, see
https://discussions.apple.com/thread/2138051?start=0&tstart=0
The recipe was:
- quit iCal
- remove all files in ~/Library/Calendar
- remove all ical .pref files from ~/Library/Preferences
- restarted iCal and added the accounts again
- waited for it to sync
- then quit iCal and started it again (this made a difference)
I repaired file permissions as well just to be sure.

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