Illustrator Update Failed: Now crashes on launch. Unusable.

After Adobe Updater did it's business it said Illustrator failed to update. Now Illustrator will not launch.
Log file says:
Adobe Illustrator CS6 Update (version 16.0.3)
Installation failed. Error Code: U44M1P7
Problem reporter says (among other things):
Exception Type: EXC_BREAKPOINT (SIGTRAP)
Exception Codes: 0x0000000000000002, 0x0000000000000000
Application Specific Information:
dyld: launch, loading dependent libraries
Dyld Error Message:
Library not loaded: @executable_path/../Frameworks/AdobeCrashReporter.framework/Versions/A/AdobeCrashReporter
Referenced from: /Applications/Adobe Illustrator CS6/Adobe Illustrator.app/Contents/MacOS/Adobe Illustrator
Reason: image not found
Any help would be awesome. I'm dead without it.

Download and run the manual update from http://www.adobe.com/downloads/updates/

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    0x7fff91d4a000 -     0x7fff91d4afff com.apple.CoreServices (57 - 57) <9DD44CB0-C644-35C3-8F57-0B41B3EC147D> /System/Library/Frameworks/CoreServices.framework/Versions/A/CoreServices
    0x7fff95290000 -     0x7fff955ecfff com.apple.Foundation (6.8 - 945.11) <A5D41956-A354-3ACC-9355-BE200072223B> /System/Library/Frameworks/Foundation.framework/Versions/C/Foundation
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Hi,
Please try reinstalling AI CS6 and then applying the patch. As evident from the logs, you seems to be still on 16.0.0 (i.e patch do not get applied).
Could you please also confirm whether you have any third party cleaner programs running on your machine?
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Nishant Kumar Thakur

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Illustrator Update Failed: Now crashes on launch. Unusable.

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